Our Lovestory

Brian and I initially met through our employment via the telephone on July 17, 1997.   He called from Canada as a purchaser for his company buying product from the manufacturer where I was employed in Kansas. After our business was completed, we continued a lengthy conversation which was the beginning of our friendship. He called me every day at work hardly ever regarding business. Eventually Brian asked for my home telephone number and began calling me at home where we spent more quality time getting to know each other. We mutually realized our attraction for each other was becoming stronger as we talked on the telephone every day either at work or at home.

We wanted to meet each other in person and Brian invited me to visit him in Calgary, Alberta Canada as soon as possible. We sent our photographs to each other and discussed the idea of meeting. When I flew to Canada to meet him on September 18th, 1997, it was the first time I had ever flown on a plane other than a small two-seater as a form of recreation when I was very young.

It was also the first time I had ever been to Canada except as a small child with my parents, which I do not remember at all. Meeting Brian and viewing the Canadian Rockies with him was to be the most romantic, exciting and unforgettable experience of my life. At that point I decided that I would not have any regrets. If nothing came of this rendezvous, I would still have a memorable experience to cherish.

I arrived at the Calgary airport where Brian was waiting to meet me with a long stem red rose and to take me on the most romantic four day weekend I could have ever imagined. When we met for the very first time I can still remember that nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach. Brian met me at the Calgary Airport and I knew this was going to be an exiting weekend. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. He is 5 feet 10 inches, slender build, a little bald on top but with short light brown hair on the sides of his head, he looked like Jean-Luc Picard from Stark Trek. He has a mustache and sparkling blue/green eyes as well as a great smile. He was wearing cowboy boots, tight faded jeans, T-shirt and a black blazer and looked so handsome and sweet.

The very first romantic move he made was to carry my luggage out to the parking garage and load it into his car. He opened the car door for me and told me to be careful and not sit on my surprise. I looked down and there, lying on the seat was a beautiful, long stemmed, red rose. What a way to welcome a lady.   We took off in his sporty, turquoise Mazda with black interior. We sped out of the airport terminal and took off across the city. He showed me many sights but only after he drove us to the top of a secluded hill first, where he parked and kissed me for the very first time, a long passionate and unforgettable kiss. What a beginning!

We spent the next four days getting to know each other more intimately as well as sight seeing in the mountains. I was extremely impressed with the beauty of the Canadian Rockies and wildlife as well as the friendly nature of the abiding Canadians.   There was also my growing affection for Brian. I knew I had found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Each day became only more breathtaking and I was almost speechless for the next three days. We drove into the mountains where we stayed in a romantic, rustic cabin with a fireplace and kitchenette. We traveled together and saw many interesting things from the famous Canadian tourist city of Banff to the Columbia Icefields (glacier).

We took a gondola ride to the top of Sulpher Mountain, visited the beautiful, turquoise Lake Louise and Peyto Lake. We saw elk roaming about the front yards of the local residents and came across mountain sheep along the highway as we traveled to and from our cabin at Johnston Canyon. Our last morning together, we took a 1.7 mile hike up Johnston Canyon where we photographed 7 different waterfalls. The climb was a challenge but was well worth it.

Then came the time I dreaded most, the time to say good-bye. Brian helped me get my luggage into the airport and we said our good-byes at the customs gate. As I walked forward through the airport to my destination home, I was crying. I could feel him watching me as I walked away but I could not turn around. As the plane took off I waved, looking below through the mixed tears of joy and pain, hoping I would see him again someday.

I sadly returned home to Emporia, Kansas missing Brian more than I ever knew it was possible to miss another human being. We called each other daily with even more intensity than before since we actually met face to face and began to know one another more intimately. We began planning our next reunion. I returned to Calgary again to visit Brian around November 25, 1997 and stayed for four days during Thanksgiving, the American holiday.   During this visit, we declared our love to one another as we knew our relationship had grown into more than just friendship. We both knew we had fallen in love. However, we agreed to take things slowly and use the long distance between us as an opportunity to communicate and learn more about each other, allowing our romance the time to become strong and healthy. We knew if we could endure the distance we could endure almost anything together.

I returned home to Kansas even sadder this time but what I did not know was Brian was already making travel plans to come to Kansas for December 1997. He made secret arrangements with my daughter, Haylie, who was 22 at the time and temporarily living with me. She helped Brian with his plans to surprise me as a wonderful Christmas present. I was so happy that Brian loved me enough to make the effort to give me a gift I would never forget -- himself. He flew to Kansas arriving the day after Christmas and stayed through New Years, just to surprise me, meet my family, and be able to stay for nine days which was twice as long as I had been able to stay during my visits to Canada. This man was different; he was special and loving, thoughtful, giving, creative and very, very sexy. This man, Brian Langlois, was a "keeper".

After Brian flew back to Canada, I was so empty. I missed him so much and knew in my heart that Brian and I were destined soul mates.   Our lives together would be only the beginning of a genuine love story, one that would last for a lifetime. I called Brian and told him that I had made a decision. My decision was to move to Canada to be with him. We discussed it in detail. He wanted this too but wanted it to be my idea because I had the greater sacrifice to make in leaving my home.

Brian returned to Kansas for another long, nine day visit in March 1998. We had fun together as we spent time just being together. I still had to work at my full time job during his stay but every day after work when I came home, I would find Brian waiting for me. He made marvelous meals and had a glass of wine waiting for me. I would put my feet up and he massaged them for me. Those were the moments I would pinch myself and ask, "How did I get so lucky? We discussed our future plans and worked on our personal relationship. We had both been working very hard toward our personal goals as well as our corporate goal of bringing me to Canada. We both found second jobs and began saving. After discussing our plans, I told Brian I was working toward paying off all my debtors and saving $800 - $1,000 to put into my own personal savings. I told him I would keep that money in the States and it would be my "practical nest egg". If something happened between us, I would go home and begin life again. I did not want to think about that heartbreaking possibility but I had to protect myself. Either way getting out of debt and building a savings account would be a beneficial thing for me regardless of the end result. This plan would lower our risk of denial and possibly increase our chances for my immigration approval.   We agreed this plan would also give us time to live together to be certain our love was genuine and we were truly compatible.

The time had come. In July 1998, I entrusted all my personal belongs to my daughter to keep at her home; gave final notice to my employer using the remaining earned vacation hours; took money from my savings; grabbed my passport and some clothes, said a tearful good-bye to my family and friends and flew to Calgary for an extended visit to be with Brian. What would it be like if someday I were to permanently live in Canada with this man I have grown to love so much? We wanted a trail run -- a compatibility test for us both and a culture shock test for me.   After all, I had very little experience outside of Kansas. One of the first things Brian and I did together was going on a week long trip to and through British Columbia, camping and sight seeing. When we returned, I met his friends who soon became my friends as well. I had not met any of his family at this point because we previously did not have the time during my short visits to the province of Alberta. During my extended visit to Canada, I was able to fly with Brian to Toronto, Ontario to meet his family and friends. He also took me to Niagara Falls which took my breath away.

I have enjoyed cooking for Brian and doing other domestic things around the house.   We have spent every spare moment together and he has enjoyed showing me special places throughout Calgary. Our time together was limited and we knew that sooner or later, I would have to return to Kansas and start life over again unless there was more of a commitment between us.

On January 2, 1999, Brian sat down beside me on the sofa and presented a large diamond ring. He proposed to me and I accepted gladly. Within a few days following, I requested an authorized extension to my visit in Canada considering the circumstances.   Brian and I got married on January 15, 1999 at a civil ceremony at the Casa Ditalia Restaraunte, 2820 Centre Street NW, Calgary, Alberta by Marriage Commissioner, Lillian M. Steiger. Brian's best man was his long time friend, William Madder. I had developed a friendship with Judy Sheets who was my Maid of Honor. Bill's wife also came, as the Madder's have been like family to Brian for many years. Brian's mother also flew in to witness the wedding, after all it was her only son and his first time to finally get married. She was very happy for us, renting a hotel room for us for our wedding night. We did not go on a honeymoon but decided there would be plenty of time for that at another time since this was an unexpected surprise to all of us. My parents are elderly and did not have the ability to travel at this time and my children are independent but also do not have the finances to visit at such a short notice. However, they are very happy for us both.

We began gathering the necessary papers to start the application process for me to become a Landed Immigrant to Canada. I wanted to be approved as soon as possible so I could begin working as a permanent resident here and be allowed to remain here in Calgary living with my wonderful new husband and the man of my dreams. I have enjoyed having time off to read, take walks and work on my hobbies but I have also always been someone who was employed.    As an independent person, I do not like asking anyone for money so I have been spending from my personal savings which I brought with me and which has been accessible to me. However, not being able to work has depleted my personal account. Brian does not mind supporting us both but I would feel much better if I could contribute to our living expenses, have my own earned spending money as well as have something a bit more productive to do with my time.

Although I have been married twice previously, I am completely convinced that Brian and I were meant to be together. I am happier here with Brian than I have ever been in all the years of my life. I do miss my family very much but I wouldn't give up the loving relationship I have with this man who treats me like a princess. I am finally satisfied, loved and finally happy although I had to find it on the other side of the Canadian border.   I hope I will someday be allowed to call this land my legal home after all "the home is where the heart is" and my heart is here with the man I love.

This has been a very unusual year! The first half of it I spent planning my wedding; the second half I spent preparing for my mothers funeral, caring for her, watching her die before my very eyes and grieving for her as she is now gone from my sight. Needless to say it has flown by so fast that I can actually say it was one big blur.

These are the days gone by as best I can remember them. Some are written as they happen; some are from the deep recesses of my mind as some things are harder to forget than others.

January 1st - Friday (New Year's Day) The day after the big New Year's Eve party dancing to Collin James live and swinging. We saw the new year in but Brian still hadn't proposed to me. I was beginning to think it would never happen. So on New Year's Day, I was very, very depressed and lay on the couch, partly tired because of the party last night, partly tired of wondering how much he loved me. I told him I was going to fly back home to see my family because I missed them so much. He joked around with me, teasing me and snuggling with me. He acted as though he knew something I didnt, as though there was no reason on earth for me to doubt our relationship. Eventually I livened up a bit and decided to enjoy it with him. I still felt the disappointment.

January 2nd - Saturday

Im trying again to quit smoking. I didn't have a cigarette all day. We are really trying to quit. I took some Energy (natural herbs) pills and kept busy around the house waiting for Brian to come home. I did four loads of laundry, made the bed, cleaned the house, vacuumed, showered, fixed my hair, put on my makeup, took Dakota for a walk and worked on the computer entering Brian's data for him. I was surprised when Brian came home thirty minutes early from work. I said hello and kept working around the house and folding laundry. I told him I had been trying to keep busy so I wouldnt want to smoke but I have hardly sat down at all today. He said, "Well, then come sit down and take a load off." So I went into the living room and sat down on the couch. He sat down beside me and turned his back to me and when he turned back to face me he had a box in his hand. It was opened and there were two rings in it. He had a nervous, excited quiver in his voice and his eyes were sparkling as he asked me, "Charlotte, will you marry me?" I was so surprised that I just sat there with my mouth opened looking at the rings and back at him. He took took the engagement ring, which was the biggest diamond I've ever seen and he attempted to slip it on my finger but it wouldn't fit. So he put it on my little finger. I was shaking and said, "Well, I suppose you want an answer, don't you. Yes! I'll marry you. Oh, honey, its so beautiful. (I started crying and couldn't stop) It's the most beautiful diamond ring I've ever had or ever seen." He said we would have to get it sized. Then he put the two rings together the way they would be if we were married and said, "We'll have to get them soldered together." Then he pulled out another box and showed me the ring he selected for himself. It is a beautiful gold ring with a black onyx square with a little diamond in the middle of it. "Oh, honey, it's beautiful." He said, "It looks like the ring my father use to wear." I knew his father was dead but I also knew about the lack of relationship between the two of them. I found that touching that I even in his pain he would want to hold onto his good memories with a symbol such as this. I put that ring on his finger. He told me he had been looking for a ring for the last week and a half but couldn't find the right one. Then he said he found this one. He said, "You don't want to know how much it cost. I'm broke now." We laughed and then he said, "Well, I'll tell you this, we'll have to get it insured because it is worth $5,000 dollars. We kissed. I was still crying, looking at my ring, hugging Brian's neck and kissing him. He went outside and came back in with a couple of bottles of wine he had stuck in the snow to chill. I could try to get the ring on my finger better by putting on hand lotion. This time it went on my ring finger better and fit perfectly. I was so excited!

We decided to celebrate by ordering a pizza and drinking our wine, after a toast to us of course. Then Brian began to unfold his scheme to surprise me. He told me he didn't go to work today after all. Instead he went shopping for these rings. He realized he would have to kill some time after his search had ended because if he would come home too early, I would know something was up. He went to Bill and Heather Madders home to show them and he asked Bill to be a witness for us at the wedding. Brian decided he said he wants to get married in the next couple of weeks for the first, legal time and then we'll have a real wedding later on in the year. They were shocked. Then he went over to Canadian Tire and showed his co-workers the beautiful ring, revealing his plans. He finally arrived home. He said, he had called Rob & Michelle on New Year's Eve from work to tell them what he was going to do. To think I had thought he wasn't going to ask me at all. Then he also told me he had checked into the legal stuff and what we needed to do. He said we will have to get blood tests and a marriage license next week and set up the time with the Justice of the Peace, which is in someone's home where we would be getting married. Then I reminded him that I would be babysitting for Bill & Heather at their house all next week (the second week of January). Brian said, "Oh that's right. Well, I guess we'll just have to get married this week." Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and had to call people. I called my parents, Haylie (couldn't get through), Judy (no answer), and Nancy, a neighbor across the street. Nancy came right over to see my ring and share a glass of wine with us. We gave her a piece of pizza and she met Brian for the first time. We had some difficulty getting her to go home so Brian suggested we take Dakota for a walk. We had to actually put our coats on and take him out so she would put on her coat and go home. She is a very sweet girl but sometimes finds it difficult to realize what is appropriate. When we got home, we celebrated our happiness together privately. I tried calling Judy again. We talked for quite awhile and I asked her to be my maid of honor at the wedding. We started planning on going shopping and other girl stuff. We talked about dresses and what we would wear, etc. It seemed strange at that time thinking of planning two weddings. Brian kept joking about, "how am I going to pay for the wedding" and "I must be crazy." I told him, "I know you really love me now with all your heart because you want to marry me." He said, "yeah, I must be crazy...I'll have to put up with you for the rest of my life." Then we went to bed and I kept saying things to get Brian call me his fiancée. We snuggled and held each other tight until we fell asleep.

January 7th - Thursday

I went over to Nancy's to finish up my pack of smokes I had kept in reserve there. She ended up talking me into staying with her to watch one of my own movies she had borrowed from me. Then I came home and walked Dakota, started cleaning house and doing laundry. I cleaned house very thoroughly today -- still not done, since Brian's mom is coming to see us get married next Friday. Then tonight when Brian got home, we went out to get our marriage license and check out some restaurants to get married in. I'm not crazy about the idea however it does make more sense as a practical plan. We looked at a couple of Italian restaurants. We settled on one where a large Kim Anderson photo is hanging in the private room. A little boy is handing a red rose to the little girl as he is kissing her. I love that picture and it is symbolic for Brian and me. The first time we met in person at the airport, Brian gave me a long stemmed red rose. This was a sign to me that we should be married in this room. We booked it for Friday, January 15th.

Once the ground work was laid, we went downstairs to have a romantic dinner in front of a fireplace with a candle on our table and Italian music swimming around our heads. There was only two other couples in the entire restaurant. The two of continued quietly discussing our wedding plans. Suddenly, began to feel a panic attack coming on. I felt sick to my stomach as fear took hold of me. Brian talked more and more about the kind of wedding he wanted us to have. The great expense and mounting work involved began to pound in my heart as fear began to overwhelm me. I thought to myself, Oh my God, he is planning on spending $10,000 on this wedding! We dont have that kind of money. We are going to be up to our eyeballs in debt.! The ring he bought me is worth $5,000. He started mentioning catering dinner at the reception with a DJ and paying for liquor and everything. He plans to have at least two guys standing up with him so I need to come up with a maid-of-honor and a bridesmaid. He said the photographer alone would cost about $1,000. My dress would probably be another $1,000. The liquor would be about $5,000 and the dinner would be $2,000...plus all the miscellaneous. What about the cake, the flowers, tuxedos, the attendants, the invitations how in the world would we pay for all this? We would figure on having about 100 people there. My God, what are we doing? I don't want this frustration of doing another huge wedding. Im scared to death. I don't know why. Well, I guess it is something I'm going to have to deal with. On the way home we started talking about it and I could feel the tears coming down my face. They were tears of fear and panic. What if I screw it all up? I don't know how to do this big of a wedding. It is so much work? Can we really afford it? It seems like such a waste. Will anybody in my family come? Will any of my friends come? I'm afraid that Brian is a typical male and doesn't realize the work involved in a wedding let alone the financial aspect. Any way, we got home and took Dakota for a night walk. Then we were talking on the way back to the house about the money I spent the other day with Judy, for the flowers $50.00. He said, "What, $50.00 for flowers? I started crying (it wasn't hard to do as I had already been crying) and said, "Wait a minute, here...you mean to tell me you'll drop 10,000 dollars no problem but I spend $50.00 for my little wedding and you get upset? Come on, get real here. Then he said he was sorry and if I wanted flowers I should have them.

February 21, 1999

This morning I went to church at the Bow Valley Alliance church. It was like going home again. I can't begin to explain the peace I felt at being there. It was a healing power coming from God and connecting somewhere inside of me. It felt almost like life again...an energy source. I felt connected again. The same songs and style of songs. The Spirit of God was there and the freedom was the same but there was a newness about it...a kind of freshness. I know God is resurrecting me again.

I talked to Pastor Ron after the service. He listened to me. He was the one who ministered to me that day when I stopped in the church for a meeting. He was so happy to hear from me because he had wondered about what happened to me. He prayed with me in such a gentle way and then introduced me to the woman in charge of a ladies bible study. Janine was so nice and listened to me as well. She was very sweet and introduced me to her husband. There was a sense of gentleness about these people that I needed.

I explained a little about myself and how I came to be here. I explained how God was healing me from the inside out. I got an understanding about my spiritual life and what God was doing to me,

I had been in some sort of trauma, like a severe car accident where I was injured and crippled for a long time. I had been in a coma, a sleep state because my body couldn't handle the pain. Nothing bad happened to me there and I was cared for in the hospital but now I am awake and on my way to recovery. Dr. Jesus is taking me through a recovery, rehabilitation if you will. I am learning to walk and talk all over again. I am very slow at this point in time, but I am just starting to exercise myself and gain my strength back again. It is a miracle I survived. I had no strength at all for a long time and was angry and bitter about what happened to me.. But now, I am happy and at peace with myself and have forgiven those I had blamed before.. It will be a long time before I will be 100% again and dare to fully trust people again. I know that will come in time. Meanwhile, I am allowing Dr. Jesus to do the healing work and I am trying to cooperate by doing my part. It all comes in time as I must take "baby steps" and learn to walk again. I am beginning physiotherapy and starting a program of regeneration.

trauma - wound, injury, severe emotional shock

injured - offence, hurt, wronged harm done to

crippled - disabled (to make unable)

coma - state of unconsciousness (unaware, unintentional, sleeping)

recovery - regain after losing, recoup, restore, retrieve, regain health

rehabilitation - retrain, reinstate

exercise - something done as practice or training, performance, exertion

strength - make strong, state or quality of being strong, effectiveness, potency

survived - outlive, remain alive, keep existing, outlast

healing - to make whole, to cure, restore to health, mend

phsiotherapy - treatment of disease or disability by exercise

regeneration - to be reborn spiritually, renew a body part, recreate, reform

February 23, 1999

I just found out that I will have to pay $250.00 for my taxes. It really worries me a lot because sometimes I get scarred. Statistics prove that the #1 thing couples fight over is money. Brian is working two jobs and I can't even work one job because of the "visitor status" that allows me to be here in Canada. I feel pretty useless a lot of the time because I am not contributing financially to any of our financial needs. Brian is great at supporting us both but things are costing him so much money. I wish I could get a job and it makes me very angry when I think about it. I am willing and able but not allowed to work here. It really stinks!

Three big expenses that Brian is working by himself to pay for are:THE WEDDING, my IMMIGRATION costs, and OUR CAR. I did spend $25.00 of my own money to get the fingerprints taken. Brian spent $36.00 to get a money order for a criminal status report on me from the FBI, which is necessary to send into the Immigration Department. I had to take a physical $110.00; lab work $42.60 and the cost of immigration fees totals $1500.00 so by the time we are all through it will have cost him $1700.00 to keep me here legally. On top of that I have to tell him that it is going to cost $250.00 to pay my taxes and he has taxes to pay as well.

Then there is the wedding expense that I didn't even want. We estimated $10,000.

We have to buy another car and fix the one up that we have. We have some money in the bank but the costs of all this is amazing.

I am feeling very stressed right now because, I can't help out. I could do some housecleaning, babysitting or dogwalking but I don't have the connections knowing people. I thought maybe I could deliver papers or flyers.

The only thing I can possibly do is quit smoking. It costs about $5.00 a day for me to smoke. That totals $35.00 a week or $150.00 a month. That means for the two of us it is costing us $300.00 a month for us to harm ourselves physically and watching our money go up in smoke.

The only other thing I can do right now is get those Canadian tire receipts together to send into the company and get money back.

I'm really scarred because I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that Brian is going to get angry at me or resent me. I am afraid we might start fighting over money.

NOTE: Shortly after I wrote the above concerns, about the end of February, I put up a flyer at the library and Sally called about it. To make a long story short, I became a temporary full time Nanny for three little boys: 5 years, 3 years and 3 months. The mother, Sally, works at home writing her novel about their experiences in China. I was given a gift of $7.50 per hour. It was hard work but good money. I also cleaned their house, did laundry and some cooking. I made lots of neat projects with the boys, especially ones for their mother. I worked 5 days a week 38 hours. I fell in love with the baby, put up with the five year old and could not stand the three year old (is it okay to dispise a three year old). However, it was a valuable learning experience and it gave me lots of good references. Plus I can always call up Sally and ask for help if I need any info about publishing a book.

Now on top of this job, I also found a job selling newspapers for the Calgary Herald. I went door to door selling subscriptions. My boss, Ross Hillier, was so kind to me and reminded me of my old boss at American Therapy in Oklahoma. Anyway, this job paid off while I was traveling with him & the kids in the van but when I started working out of my own area at first and was getting tired of this job, my sales went way down and it became more of a hassel than it was worth. Still, I had brought in some good money for awhile.

After quitting the newspaper job and losing the nanny job (when the permanent nanny from the Phillapines arrived), I was asked to watch the children of two other familys. By this time I still needed the money to help out our income at home, but I am really getting sick of these kind of jobs. Especially the one mother who only pays me $5.00 per hour and she's a flake. The little girl and her brother are okay unless they are around their mom or dad. The other family I take care of is for two adorable little children about 18 months old and 2 1/2 years old. The boy, 2 1/2 is mentally slow but is so sweet but very physical. The little girl 18 month old is as cute as a bug. The mother pays me $7.50 per hour. All these familys live in very interesting houses, two of which overlook the river.

I also got a temporary housecleaning job for in the Country Hills Estates. I get $40 every Friday and it takes me about 3 1/2 hours plus about 45 minutes driving time. But I don't have to put up with any children...its just straight cleaning.

The truck thing worked out very well. Brian discovered a hunter green, 92 Chevy S10 Blazer LT (Tahoe) at a car lot, which had just been brought in. They hadn't even cleaned it up or had it checked out. They told Brian, they would have to have $9000 for as is. We had it checked out. It was in pretty good shape, we had the money in savings, it was exactly what we were looking for. We bought it. Second vehicle problem solved. I am now driving the old Mustang.

Wedding news update. The worry about how we are paying for this is Brian finally went to the bank and got a line of credit for $10,000, which should have been done in the beginning in my opinion. Why do some men procrastinate about the most intelligent, less hassle answers which involve money? In this case, I believe its because he has not had the headache and work load of getting this wedding underway as I have. Its on my mind constantly. That's why I cried at the beginning when he said he wanted this huge thing. I knew just how much work would be involved....lots and lots!!! Anyway, we have taken care of so many things. We only have a few left.

Most of the first half of this year has been planning the 2nd wedding (July 10th) and it has taken up so much time I haven't had any extra to write in my journal but somethings are important enough to take the time. Therefore, read on: